I know it may come as a shock to some of you, but there are some days when the Little Man & Miss might not necessarily nominate me for Mommy of the Year. I mean, I Always feed them. And I Usually dress them. And I Do bathe them. Every night. Ish. So its not [...]
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I think the Big Man is having an affair. It’s the only explanation I can come up with for what just happened. He’s having an affair and is trying to make up for it. Why else, when asked what he wants to do today, would he reply: Look for a new pair of jeans. NEW [...]
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I’m raising a pair of very clever kleptomaniacs. They get it from their father’s side. Seriously. I? NEVER. SHOPLIFTED. Not a single tube of lipstick, roll of lifesavers, or out of date condom. If I couldn’t raise the money and permission to buy whatever impulse purchase happened to catch my eye, it stayed there. On [...]
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When we last left our heroine, I looked a little something like this: Which is to say, a bit less Desperate Housewives of Beverly Hills, and a bit more Desperate Housewives of Deliverance, Kentucky. Fortunately, I seem to live in a town where DIY hair disasters are a common occurrence. Or so I assume. Since [...]
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As you read this, I am either: a) Frantically running around the house and grabbing kids, bottles, diapers, and assorted snot-covered toys and tossing them in the back of my suddenly miniaturized car in preparation for our 6hour solo road trip to Vermont. b) Driving down the interstate on cruise control, one foot hovering over [...]
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There are many thing which I lost in our move to Maine this summer: My toothbrush. My stylist. My sanity. And while, sure, the Little Man tends to give me the side-eye whenever I start singing out loud before I’ve turned the radio on, the thing I miss the most is not my sanity. It’s [...]
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It’s sitting up there. Waiting for me. Big meaty hands fisted on its hips. One thick, cracked toe tapping an incessant drum beat into the back of my brain. My little girl’s tiny, pink polka-dotted sock dangling out of its gaping mouth. Waiting. Just waiting. It doesn’t care that laundry day was Monday. That I [...]
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